The Crunchy Tuna

Posted: August 18, 2010 in Horror, Random
Tags: , ,

Authors Note:  I wrote this almost a year ago so I’m not guaranteeing it’s the best version yet.  It is still has a long way to go I think.  Hopefully my quick proofread will help.

A scream came from down the hall.  Josie ran down to see what the matter was.  As soon as she walked into the room, she gasped.  She knew why Marianne had screamed.  There, on the floor was Jake, dead.

“What happened?!” asked Josie.

“I-I-I have no c-clue,” replied Marianne, “I was c-coming to give him a p-paper and I found him l-like this.  What should we do?”

“I’ll go and phone the police!”  Said Josie as she walked out of the room.

Minutes later Detective Bradon walked out of the room talking to        Dr. Mycenae.  He put something in his pocket. Dr. Mycenae said something to the detective and then the detective nodded.

“You are very lucky and yet unlucky.” Said Dr. Mycenae.

Two paramedics rushed into the room where Jake lay.

“He is alive, but only barely. From what we see, he was clubbed on the head with an unknown object, and then he was poisoned.”

“That’s horrible!!” Exclaimed Marianne. “Shouldn’t we do something?”

“That is why this very amazing detective is here.” Said the doctor. “He will piece together the mystery and catch the criminal.”

Dr. Mycenae left with the paramedics who were carrying Jake.

“Is there anyone else that works here?” he asked.

“Yes and no. You see, he quit a while ago.  His name was Fred.” Said Marianne.

“Let me look around for a bit.” Said Bradon

He looked around the hallway.  Then he went into Marianne’s office.  They followed him.

“Nothing here.” he said after a fast but good check.

After they checked a couple rooms like the kitchen, the front office, and the attic, they entered Josie’s room.  They looked a bit before he opened a drawer.

“What goes here?” He asked.

“My first aid kit.” Josie replied.

“What was in it?” Bradon asked.

“Well, there are bandages, scissors, gauze, sleeping injection and…” Josie stopped talking dead in her tracks.  “Could they have s-stolen i-it?”

“Either you are the murder or they stole it, yes.” Replied Bradon.  He kept searching.

After searching for along time, he stopped by Josie’s desk.

“Hey, Marianne, why did Fred quit anyway?” asked Josie.

“Because,” said the detective, “they got into a fight.”

“Ok” said Josie.

“Maybe the most unlikely place.” He suddenly said.

He pulled his hand out of his pocket and opened Josie’s sandwich.

“Nope, it’s not in here.  I will be back.”  He said as he left the office building.

Marianne sat there and ate her sandwich.  Umm, this tuna is so moist and soft. She thought. I wish I could have it this way every day.  Hmm, I wander if tuna is any good if it is crunchy.

Josie sat in her office looking out the window.  Sure is a nice view from here.  I’m hungry she thought, I’ll eat my sandwich.  Umm, this is good, but why is it crunchy, tuna isn’t crunchy, it’s supposed to be moist.  Maybe it’s the new brand. Oh well. Ohhh, I’m getting so tired, she yawned.

It had been exactly three days since Jake had been hurt.  Marianne sat in her office and ate her sandwich.  Oh, this P-B-and J is so good.

Josie sat in her office. Oh this tuna is so good. I should get this brand more often. There was a scratching sound.  Stupid rats. She thought, Why don’t we go and get a trap to put in the office.

“Hey Marianne,” she yelled, “go put a mouse trap in the attic.”

“Ok, just let me find one.” Marianne replied.

Josie listened to the footsteps of Marianne fade as she went to the attic.

Then the rats stopped.  Josie heard footsteps.  She turned to see a man in a black overcoat pointing a gun at her.

“W-who are you?” she managed to stutter.

A familiar voice spoke. “Your worst nightmare.”

He started to pull the trigger when something tackled him.  In fact, two people tackled him.  It was Marianne and somebody else.  The someone else took the gun and pointed it at him.  The somebody else looked at me.  It was Jake, but he looked very sick.

“I knew his plans.”  Jake said. “He only tried to murder me twice.  I’ve been up in the attic for a day and all I could do was scratch.”

“So that was you?” Josie said, “That means that Marianne untied you?  Then who is this?”

“This” said Jake “is your favorite detective Bradon.”

Yeah!!” said a gruff voice, “and I almost had you. If the stupid container would have killed you.”

“What c-container?” asked Josie.

The sleep medicine that I put in your sandwich.” he replied.

Josie spit about twenty times then she called the police.  She explained what had happened.

“So the real Bradon was at his office the whole time okay, so who is this?”

“It’s Fred.” Jake replied.

“So,” said Marianne, “that’s why he knew why Fred quit.”

“Yep.” said Jake.

“Ok,” Josie into the receiver. “This is Fred an old worker of ours.  He got into a fight with another client and so he quit.  He had apparently come back for revenge.”

She hung up.

“They’re coming to pick him up now.”

They all soon started a detective business.  Jake became a major detective and solved many mysteries that the police couldn’t.

Marianne was his secretary.  She worked day and night.  Last but not least was Josie.  She worked as a double.  Most of the time, she would work with Marianne as a second secretary, but every once in a while, she would double as a detective.

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